The friending , the liking , the condition updating : Sooner or later we all grow to hate it , but we ca n’t halt .
Facebook is made up of those dinner party party guests who just wo n’t allow even though it ’s late and everyone else left two hours ago . After a while , everything anyone does on Facebook becomes irritating .
With that in mind , here are a hundred citizenry I hate on Facebook ( edited down from my original list of 500 million ) .
multitude who have the new visibility
hoi polloi who still have the old visibility
mass who are always on Facebook
People who show up once a month and think they have the right to chime in
People who check - in
multitude who have a birthday today
multitude who friend everybody
People who only friend people they know well
People who friend me .
People who partake their travel plan by listing the airport codes of the two cities separated by a niggling arrow . Goto — > hell
People who think it ’s about the journeying
the great unwashed who think “ LOL ! ” counts as quality feedback
People who recall elaborating on a joke is the same as stimulate a joke
People who quetch about their relationships
citizenry who test convince us their relationships are totally awesome
People who change their relationship status before tell apart me their human relationship status has change
People who “ like ” my wife ( keep your thumbs - up off from my adult female )
People who announce they ’re going to be offline for awhile
People who act as Farmville
the great unwashed who quetch about people who run Farmville without first seeing how irritating it is for themselves
People you who on a regular basis tag you in their photo record album when it ’s distinctly a good photograph of them and a bad pic of you
multitude who share political party photograph with people who were n’t ask in to the company
mass who post personal messages in public ( “ Great seeing you last night ! ” )
Attractive hoi polloi who aggressively share exposure
masses who post happy substance in the daybreak
hoi polloi who are selling something
mass who expend Facebook to promote their company
People who use it for personal reasons
hoi polloi who use it for political reasons
multitude who are excessively enthusiastic about my updates
the great unwashed who disregard my update
multitude who deal article I ’ve already seen
People who apportion articles I might have otherwise missed
mass who comment on the Facebook blurb about an article without actually translate the article
People who never comment about anything
multitude who post their tweets to Facebook
People who focalise on trivial things
mass who use Facebook to discus anything of substance
People who brand mystifying position updates in an exploit to get others to comment : “ OMG , what do you mean ? Everything OK ? ”
People who comment : “ OMG , what do you stand for ? ”
People who answer to rhetorical statements
masses who just convert their profile picture
hoi polloi who were hot as hell in seventh grade but who never partake any current photos ( and never apologize for ignoring you in Junior High )
multitude who were ugly in next-to-last high and resent those who at least were attractive for a while
People who see child abuse as a serious job and then who think : “ Maybe a cartoon embodiment would help ? ”
People to whom I am clearly superscript but who think I should make the first friending move
Inferior People who dare to send a friend asking
People who in 2007 said , “ Facebook has peaked , what ’s the next thing ? ”
the great unwashed who are too former for this hooey
hoi polloi who are too young for this stuff
hoi polloi who think they ’re the first one to say , “ I wish FB had a hate clit . ”
People who are overly nice
multitude who portion out joy
citizenry who I ’ve known since puerility
mass I just met .
People who complain
People with worthless kid picture
People whose kids are more photogenic than mine
the great unwashed who seek to chat even though we have n’t attend each other for five years
the great unwashed who attempt to chat even though we talk everyday
People who try on to chat
the great unwashed who go offline when I seek to chat with them
People who poke me .
People who bid me happy natal day on Facebook
People who do n’t
masses who see you in person and then replicate the same tale they already posted to Facebook and then just stand there until you say , “ OK , like . ”
People who post what they just ate or anything about their digestive arrangement
People who share their utilisation routine
People who apportion their schedule
People who share
People who endeavor to be cunning
People who seek to be amusing
People with the best of intentions
the great unwashed who are thoughtful
People who typecast before thinking
People who complain about change made to Facebook
People who passively accord to changes on Facebook
mass who refuse to use Facebook because everyone else is using it
the great unwashed who use the @ sign even though that only works on another web site
masses who call up “ I made some changes to my visibility page ” is a valid answer to the question : “ What did you do today ? ”
People you do n’t know comment on photo of your family members
mass who take favors
People who partake that they are sick , palpate well , ca n’t sleep or just woke up
mass who send about the conditions
People who mention anything related to Burning Man
citizenry who portion out stuff and nonsense that everyone in the earth has already get word , get no reply , and then partake it again
People who are n’t trusted about a joke they need to make and so they premise it with : “ Overheard : ”
People who use the phrase “ mark to self ” anywhere other than in the silent privacy of their own psyche
citizenry who save wonderful things about their fresh boyfriend even though we can all see that the dude is a chump and the same person will be write dreadful things about him in a few month and then ask us to be surprised and supportive
People who believe mention something about Darfur is rifle to somehow benefit the People in Darfur because every little bit counts
People who ca n’t assume that not all cats are precious and/or interesting
masses who think that you ’ll be happy about their unspoilt fortune
masses who are wildly uninteresting and distressingly unfunny yet have a lot more friends than I do
hoi polloi who write the phrase : “ Um … OK ”
People who post song lyric
People who share YouTube television that have already been viewed 400 million times
citizenry who are Sarah Palin
hoi polloi who stay on Facebook even though they detest everyone on it
multitude who use Friendster
Dave Pell is an internet nut , other adoptive parent and insider . He blog regularly atTweetage Wasteland .
Illustration by bestow illustratorSam Spratt . Check out Sam’sportfolioand become a fan of hisFacebook Artist ’s Page .
https://gizmodo.com/meet-our-contributing-illustrator-sam-spratt-5620127
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